There are some places that I feel especially close to God. For some reason it seems easier for me to hear Him in those places. I think it is expectation at work. But when I need to hear…I will often go to one of those Ebenezers. There is a road that circles Joe Tucker Park. I’ve talked with God so many times on that road…but there are particular places along that road that His voice seems clearer to me…like the signal of a radio station. I can literally close my eyes and find the places by the clarity of a signal that resonates within me. So, when I am upset and unable to easily calm myself and listen; I go to one of my strong signal sites. There I can cry and scream… and hear, even between my sobs and labored breaths.
Let me tell you all about a time not to long ago. I don’t think I have yet shared it in any detail. It was last year at Beachfreak. I went out for the early morning Lectio. By then I had done many, many Lectios so the newness was not such a wowing factor for me. I actually went, rather than sleep, I wanted to sleep, for my friend who had not experienced Lectios before. So, I was sort of going through the motions, trying not to fall asleep or rush on ahead. But honestly I wasn’t taking it too seriously. I chose a word. It was “vast.” I stared out at the sea in all its vastness and it reminded me of what I felt in regard to a particular circumstance in my life: something that was hulking and seemingly without end, something that had nearly put me under in despair. All the feelings that had been in an ebbing pattern for a year or so just crashed upon me like a wave. My heart and mind raced…panic and fear rose like a flash tide about me. I felt exactly the way I had on occasions when I could not figure out a huge problem or any of the problems on an important calculus test. I wanted to scream and break down. I saw myself sitting at a desk trying to do the calculus. Then I saw the Holy Spirit stroll down the aisle between the desks and casually pick up my test paper, “I’ve got this.” Shock and then relief overwhelmed me. I looked His direction, it was not correction, but assurance. “I’ve got this.” I believed Him that day…and I have since seen His hand (not mine) strongly upon that circumstance.