Going home always puts me in a tailspin. God shows me things when I am there that I need to have here. God shows me things when I am there that need to stay there. Sometimes discerning which is which is hard. The miasma of such is upon me. I gained some things…some insight, some understanding…but that increase has not produced more clarity. I am groping to take it all in and be stretched without the skewing. The encounters with people, specific people who are also symbol to me, validated this new program of exercise and strength training. I hear God calling, “Come, come this way.” But it is a way not openly acknowledged in my present environs…though not entirely unknown, it seems unexplored and unfamiliar to many. But this way of perceiving, this angle of sight is necessary to who I am to be – to God’s dream for me. I am so trying to find ear for this holy thing and the others concurrently…I often begin to despise what is already gained…in expectation of the next season. I have to be careful…I sense my Athenian nature arising in me…so I heed Paul’s warning about loving the new for its own sake and I will remember that the wise man brings forth out of his treasure old and new.
God, please help me miss nothing and lose nothing.