Too Easily Pleased:
I’m not sure that I thought that God’s ideas for me were bad. I think that I just didn’t understand much about who I really was made to be – because I didn’t have those conversations (out-loud) with people or God . I listened to what my parents said about work and success. I heard what they seemed to value. I didn’t have conversations like “What do you think that I would be good at?” So much seems obvious looking back – so clear to one outside of me, who knew me. But I didn’t ask much for help to see better what God might have envisioned in designing me. Help was there. I didn’t avail myself. Because – I feared the answers would not be the ones expected of me, whether that expectation was real or imagined. And I definitely did not consult God about such…not that I didn’t believe in God /Christ or count myself a Christian, it’s just because following His direction was still an unknown.
I hope that I have walked a few of God’s plans for me out. I sense a new horizon. A latter work developing, one that I was in no way prepared to do/be before or am I actually yet. I cannot see around that corner, but I see the corner.
I see nothing to avoid, but much to prepare for. I see a lot of shaking in me and my need to allow God to fill in some place still agape.