Confession – prayer experiment – day 22

Confession

I have some areas in my life where my response is not yet God’s. There are some people, some circumstances that I still react to more than I step back, see God’s heart and respond in it. Seems like everyday, several times a day, I am crying for a “new set of pins.” I know I have botched the last frame. I need God’s forgiveness, sometimes my brothers’. But I also sense the genuine need in me to try again. To do so, it helps me to see that clean slate, new set of pins. All the time I pray, “God, I know I’m not visualizing what the deal is here correctly, I know my grip is off, I know I am overcompensating, throwing too early or too late, etc. Can we just start over. Please show me one more time.”

“Create in me a clean heart.” In circumstances where I have chronically not walked rightly, the weight of past experiences can be a deadly thing. It can stop my pursuit of God’s way, even God Himself. I have to ask for what seems like ridiculous mercy over and over. I have to, less I never gain His way in my life.

I love this verse. “Renew a right spirit”: a spirit to start again, not shamed by guilt, but renewed, again inspired by the patience, the kindness, the confidence my teacher (Christ) has in me. Turn me toward you, Lord, your example.

“Cast me not away.” Bring me all the nearer in my need of you, to see You better and your Way more clearly.

“take not thy Holy Spirit from me.” Help me God, I need Your help.

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