Everything that I am reading, coming across online, and sensing is that God is preparing me for my next life…
Not my life eternal in heaven ( whatever that may be), but what all these years have been preparing me to do. Sometimes, I have flashes. Sometimes, my safe suburban world is more than I can stand. Sometimes, my soul craves more…more satisfaction, more danger, more importance, more relationship, more risk, more shared suffering, more LIFE.
Sometimes, I cannot pacify it with necessities and normality.
That gives me hope, hope that life is not over for me.
I have fewer years to rear my children than I have fingers, only 6 until my baby graduates from high school. I have no real attachments: no land, no beloved homestead, no business, no parent as yet unable to care for themselves.
I am 44. My grandmother whose body, build and health I share was 101 when she died. I may well have another life before me.
People say, “Life starts at 50.”
50: it is the year of jubilee.
So let it be.