The kids at Kingwood are out of school, finished with exams. I have two more days of work before me. We have accreditation in February, so our paper work is more than just due, like always. There are specific formats that must be followed and we have to generate those formats from the data in our computerized lesson plans. It’s tedious. There are housekeeping things: changing out bulletin boards and getting things organized for the next semester. It is a struggle for me to stay focused on those organizational duties. I do not enjoy this follow-up, this wrap-up. I don’t like this part of teaching. I’m not good on the backside of things: reviewing, determining what worked, what should be kept and recycled, what should be filed where.
I am struggling with all I am to reign my mind and spirit in from where we go next. I am always around the corner, trying to get a peek at where we will soon be and what just might be beyond that. I ride on ahead, scout and formulate possible routes forward. I do not well organize the taking up of camp that allows us to move forward freely and well provisioned. But, it is important, and as I do not, at this moment, have a personal assistant who is fantastic at such, I will make myself consider and save and even leave the camp clean and well provisioned for the next group through.
I am making myself stay in camp and do these things…I so want to ride out…to see where it is we may just go.
Though the standards that I teach do not change, the paths we take to examine them are different each semester. I get bored on the same path…I change up the outside sources: readings, documentaries, games and experiments every semester. I can’t stand taking the same trail twice. So, I will put off for 2 days, mapping out a new trail upon ground I have many times explored.
And, next semester, I get to teach two new classes…First, I have the chance to help with the senior play… I am there primarily to ride herd on the darlings…But also, because I make it my business to know who can really do what. I will allow no holdouts. Second, I get to teach my dream class: a reflective/arts oriented foray that will constitute a bible credit.
It is all I can do to not pace out ahead, to pack up books and old tests and not wander ahead just a very little. It is all I can do to print out those hundreds of pages of reports, to package up all our answers to accreditation questions and to organize the charts of the paths we have taken to date. It’s all I can do, to not just walk the floor of that room where we will gather soon…and let my eyes and spirit see eternal NOW… and make marks to help me get back there with all who will come along.
For just a moment today, just a minute or so…I closed my eyes and gazed at the horizon beyond my loading duties. Sky opened before me – words fell free- an invitation to all who would come. I wanted to chase those words further out into the hinterlands, those yet undiscovered places…I wanted so to run on…but I will tarry 2 days…and situate and stay still. 2 days, I will stay…but not one moment more.